Hi! So these Annoying Asterisk stories are just for fun and for kids. So… it’s not exactly written in the best way. Plus, it’s not really a story. Anyway… enjoy? 😛aairah
Alright, Asterisk, it’s time you go to school.
You heard me. School.
Ugh! Okay, what grade are you–oh, yeah, you’ve never went to school. Hm. Does that mean you should start preschool? Wait… you know the English language. Do you know what–
*Oh my gosh, woman, control your mouth. I’m trying to watch TV.*
–forty-four plus sixty-eight is?
*Um. That’s easy. One hundred twelve. Now leeeeaaave.*
Y-you know that already???
*I’m not stupid.*
So then… what grade are you in?
*I’m in college.*
Excuse me? Do I look like a fool to you?
*What do you mean, excuse you? Excuse me! You are calling me a preschooler! I have general knowledge while you rot in your lower standards.*
Uh–you–little–ASTERISK! What the? How old are you??
*YOU DO NOT ASK ME SUCH THINGS YOUNG LADY.*
Oh, really? So you expect me to be OKAY with the fact that you could be TWENTY YEARS OLD?
*HOW DARE YOU CALL ME TWENTY!*
Alright, that’s enough. You are coming. With me. To Harvard.
That’s right. No excuses. I’ll see if you’re lying or not. Now come.
*I’m not coming with YOU to be tested into some hooman-y college thing because you said so!*
Fine. (Sigh.) I guess that means no seaweed, then.
*I’ll come with you to be tested into some hooman-y college thing because you said so.*
Now, that’s more like it!
*B-but wait… isn’t that in Massachusetts?*
*OooOOOoOOOoooh! A plane!! VROOOOOOM!*
At the boarding thingy the next day…
*OMG PLANE TIME! PLANE TIME! PLANE TIMEEEE!*
Okay Asterisk. What is five-hundred and sixty-four times forty-seven?
*Does it have to be math?*
YES. Math proves how smart you are!! … I think. Now I bet you don’t know this.
*Hmmm… let me think. If that goes into that, and that is there, and then that goes over there, and then that goes–*
*–then surely that would go there, meaning the answer is twenty-six thousand, five-hundred and eight.*
*Yes? That was right, wasn’t it?*
…I think… you’re a genius.
*Um, duh. That’s why I’m enrolled in Harvard.*
Actually, we’re just going to talk to a counsellor person. I think. I actually have no idea what we’re doing here. Like, do we just go to someone in the school? The principal? Do colleges have a council? Is there a tiny government thing? OMG, I’ve always wanted to see–
*Okay, okay, okay!! More math numbers!*
Okay. Um. Six-hundred forty-four times eighty-two.
*Uh… could you say that again…?*
Sure. Six-hundred forty-four, times eighty–
“CALCULATOR ERROR. CALCULATOR ERROR. CALCULATOR ERROR.”
ASTERISK! YOU WERE USING A CALCULATOR THIS WHOLE TIME??
FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I paid tickets for a plane to Massachusetts! I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS, HONESTLY SPEAKING!
*I-I did most of the work!*
*I typed it in!*
Asterisk. Let me tell you something.
*WHAT? HOW DID YOU KNOW?*
WAIT. You’re a GHOST?