Hi! So these Annoying Asterisk stories are just for fun and for kids. So… it’s not exactly written in the best way. Plus, it’s not really a story. Anyway… enjoy? 😛
aairah
Alright, Asterisk, it’s time you go to school.
*Hm?*
You heard me. School.
*… humma?*
Ugh! Okay, what grade are you–oh, yeah, you’ve never went to school. Hm. Does that mean you should start preschool? Wait… you know the English language. Do you know what–
*Oh my gosh, woman, control your mouth. I’m trying to watch TV.*
–forty-four plus sixty-eight is?
*Um. That’s easy. One hundred twelve. Now leeeeaaave.*
Y-you know that already???
*I’m not stupid.*
So then… what grade are you in?
*I’m in college.*
Excuse me? Do I look like a fool to you?
*What do you mean, excuse you? Excuse me! You are calling me a preschooler! I have general knowledge while you rot in your lower standards.*
Uh–you–little–ASTERISK! What the? How old are you??
*YOU DO NOT ASK ME SUCH THINGS YOUNG LADY.*
Oh, really? So you expect me to be OKAY with the fact that you could be TWENTY YEARS OLD?
*HOW DARE YOU CALL ME TWENTY!*
UGH!
*You UGH!*
Alright, that’s enough. You are coming. With me. To Harvard.
*???*
That’s right. No excuses. I’ll see if you’re lying or not. Now come.
*I’m not coming with YOU to be tested into some hooman-y college thing because you said so!*
Fine. (Sigh.) I guess that means no seaweed, then.
*I’ll come with you to be tested into some hooman-y college thing because you said so.*
Now, that’s more like it!
*B-but wait… isn’t that in Massachusetts?*
Umm…
*OooOOOoOOOoooh! A plane!! VROOOOOOM!*
Oh no.
At the boarding thingy the next day…
*OMG PLANE TIME! PLANE TIME! PLANE TIMEEEE!*
Okay Asterisk. What is five-hundred and sixty-four times forty-seven?
*Does it have to be math?*
YES. Math proves how smart you are!! … I think. Now I bet you don’t know this.
*Hmmm… let me think. If that goes into that, and that is there, and then that goes over there, and then that goes–*
Uh…
*–then surely that would go there, meaning the answer is twenty-six thousand, five-hundred and eight.*
…Asterisk…
*Yes? That was right, wasn’t it?*
…I think… you’re a genius.
*Um, duh. That’s why I’m enrolled in Harvard.*
Actually, we’re just going to talk to a counsellor person. I think. I actually have no idea what we’re doing here. Like, do we just go to someone in the school? The principal? Do colleges have a council? Is there a tiny government thing? OMG, I’ve always wanted to see–
*Okay, okay, okay!! More math numbers!*
Okay. Um. Six-hundred forty-four times eighty-two.
*Uh… could you say that again…?*
Sure. Six-hundred forty-four, times eighty–
“CALCULATOR ERROR. CALCULATOR ERROR. CALCULATOR ERROR.”
*Uhhhhh…*
ASTERISK! YOU WERE USING A CALCULATOR THIS WHOLE TIME??
*…Maybe…*
FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I paid tickets for a plane to Massachusetts! I THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS, HONESTLY SPEAKING!
*I-I did most of the work!*
Like?
*I typed it in!*
Asterisk. Let me tell you something.
*Y-yeah?*
You’re dead.
*WHAT? HOW DID YOU KNOW?*
WAIT. You’re a GHOST?
I LOVE this! This is so funny!
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thanks!!
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